29.12.21 - Jacaré que vacila vira bolsa de madame

Halloooo,

Hope all well witchu. In the amorphous post-Christmas haze I seem to have forgotten what day it is, hence the lateness of this week's email. 

The festive period was fine, in that we had the in-laws and all the grandparents over for more than 24 hours and no one fell out with each other. We were then swallowed by a tropical storm while driving Zila back to São Paulo, and our brakes began to give out on the way back, prompting an emergency stop at the local garage. 

The best bit of the holidays so far has been the last two days of absolute inertia, where the most taxing item on my agenda has been retro-fitting Gaby's old iPhone for myself.  May it last until we have to go back to work on Monday...

No compilation to speak of this week, other than this out-of-date Christmas one, but I do have a rather cool new phrase which translates as "a hesitating alligator becomes a lady's purse" - basically, "you snooze, you lose".

Speak soon!

Once in Royal David's City, stood a lowly cattle Fred

21.12.21 - Pimenta nos olhos dos outros é refresco

Hallooooo,

Greetings from Indaiatuba, where we're clinging on for dear life until the Xmas hols (Gaby's start today, mine tomorrow!). 

No sooner had Gaby and I recovered from a nasty dose of the flu, I was stricken with a mystery fever during an overnight trip to São Paulo and had to rough it out in a series of cafés until we could head home to rest up. Meanwhile our garden continues to be overrun by feral children and termites, Berry seems hell-bent on escape and even Valente briefly turned into a merciless apex predator on Sunday, catching, crushing and eating a bird whole as we ineffectually tried to stop him. Long story short, we could really do with a few days off!

In other news I've made a new mixtape, and my phrase of the day ("pepper in the eyes of another is refreshing") has something to do with downplaying other people's problems, or ignoring them altogether ("we always find the strength to bear the misfortunes of others", and all that). Oh and I finally finished the new Beatles documentary, which I can thoroughly recommend if you've got a spare 8 hours and a Disney+ subscription.

Speak soon!

Fred List for International Travel

14.12.21 - Cantou vitória antes da hora

Halloooo,

Hope all well and you had a whizzy jolly pre-Christmas time in England! Very much enjoyed the photos, and will happily contribute to a Powys Christmas single if that's still in the works. 

Over here we've been holding it together as the Xmas break looms ever closer, and first myself then Gaby succumbed to a pretty nasty cold. At the weekend we went to Aldeia da Serra for Bruna's parents annual pre-Xmas barbeque (my first in years, because of Covid and ill-fated European business trips), which was the usual maelstrom of food, drink and weird animatronic Christmas decorations, marred by one of the +1's misreading the room and getting extremely drunk and disorderly overnight.

Since then we've been entertaining the neighbourhood stray kids as they're on holiday, and preparing for a trip to São Paulo next weekend; I've made a new compilation; and my phrase of the day ("singing 'victory' ahead of time") is a cautionary tale for anyone counting their chickens before they hatch, as far as I can tell.

Speak soon!

Fred Guardian

07.12.21 - Quem converte não se diverte

Halloooo,

Lovely to see you all and hope all well in that there UK. 

I'm back in Brazil after a harrowing 32-hour trip, and back to writing these, having taken a week off on the basis that I was actually in the country, so you all knew what I was up to without my having to write it down. The same applies to this week's entry, but for the sake of my inner completist, let's recap:

I set off to London to catch up on my fish and chips and drizzle, before heading to Ely to see Tom & Grace, then on to Bergh Apton in the freezing rain to see Grandpa, Brenna, Callum and the wee bairns, put on an impromptu puppet show and head back to Stansted, on to Nice and then Antibes, only to be whisked across the border the next day to hang out with Juliet et al in Erli for a few days, which was rather lovely. Then back to Antibes for acapella singing, Scrabble and fish curry.

The trip back went about as well as it could have gone and was still utterly unbearable, with a ten-hour stopover in plugless Portuguese purgatory, a mad dash to get a last-minute lateral flow test in a shady parking lot, and a brutal two-hour slog through Brazilian immigration. I'm still getting over it to be honest, but it's good to be back.

I have a new compilation but Spotify is having one of its tantrums and isn't letting me upload it, so it'll have to wait. And my phrase of the day ("if you convert, you don't have fun") is often ruefully muttered by Brazilians before heading on holiday to countries with much stronger currencies than theirs.

Speak soon!

Fred Lightly

23.11.21 - Mais falso que nota de 3 reais

Halloooo,

Hope all well. This week we've been extensively celebrating Gaby turning 32, including a trip to São Paulo over the weekend, for multiple nights out with friends. I ate my own body weight in pizza and we brought Zila back to stand in for me on washing-up duties while I'm travelling.

On that note, I've been busy researching the finer points of Covid testing and will set off on an epic journey to London tomorrow, starting with 4 hours of buses just to get to the airport - wish me luck, and see you soon!

Oh, and here's another compilation, and a phrase of the week ("mais falsa que uma nota de 3 reais", or "faker than a 3 real note"), which is fairly self-explanatory. 

Ciao for now,

Fred Notice

16.11.21 - Quem com ferro fere, com ferro será ferido

Hallooooooo,

Hope this missive finds you all well - I've been recovering from a cold picked up on the way back from Bahia and preparing my trip to Europe next week, so not much to report here. We've just another bank holiday and long weekend, but since an invite to the Brazilian Grand Prix was not forthcoming we mostly stayed in, except for a rather extravagant barbeque at Claudio's on Saturday.

So I will leave you for now with another compilation, and a bit of tongue-twister of a saying of the week, "quem com ferro fere, com ferro será ferido" - "he who with iron injures, with iron shall be injured", a twist on "live by the sword, die by the sword".

Speak soon!

Fred (Taylor's Version)

09.11.21 - Água salgada, alma lavada

Halloooo,

Hope all well 'n such. 

We're back at home a little worse for the wear after an epic journey home from Barra Grande, a remote outcrop of the Bahia coastline only accessible via chartered boat, after a four-hour bus trip from Salvador - it was lovely and the sunsets and rock pools were amazing and I had an incredible caipirinha in a hollowed-out cocoa plant but on the other hand it rained pretty much constantly, the dirt roads turned to mush and we were left at the mercy of some particularly rapacious local bars.

Then the trip back on Saturday involved 12 hours of non-stop traveling across 8 different modes of transport, with so little turnaround between legs that I only had time to have a wee before boarding the plane because of our heroic and frankly reckless taxi-driver, who whisked us off the dock and across town in record time. Apart from that it was very relaxing and I have brought souvenirs for everyone.

Elsewhere I've made another compilation, and my phrase of the day ("água salgada, alma lavada", or "salt water, washed soul") is a more poetic way of saying "life's a beach".

Speak soon!

Shrimp Fred Rice

02.11.21 - Frango atropelado

Hallooo,

Hope all well. A slightly late email this week because we've been traipsing round sunny Salvador all day. 

We left Indaiatuba after a fraught few days in which a flash flood and a malfunctioning flush mechanism left our living room underwater twice in quick succession, and mad children routinely invaded our kitchen looking for Halloween sweets (this eventually gave way to more organized trick or treating in the neighbourhood, which was quite sweet). On the plus side, we managed to reign in Berry, although apparently she has since escaped under the in-laws watch, so maybe not. And I snuck away to the cinema on Saturday, for the first time in literally years, to watch "Dune" on a massive screen, which was good sandy fun.

On Sunday we went to Viracopos, our local airport, and got the plane to Salvador with the squad of Bahia's #2 football team (not something to shout about according to folks here, but still...), for smoky cinnamon cocktails overlooking the Bay at sunset. The next day we got up at the crack of dawn to raid the hotel breakfast buffet and get a coach to Madre de Deus, deep in the heart of Petrobras refinery territory, where a man and his boat shepherded us around Ilha dos Frades all day. We found a deserted beach, I ordered crab and had to smash it to pieces before sucking the meat out of its legs (quite a grueling eating experience to be honest), and we watched the sun go down in the middle of the bay before heading home, as our cabbie told us about a mad 3-day wedding he got roped into in Angola.

Today we were bundled into a minivan and shown around Salvador itself, along the Carnaval procession route and the bohemian neighbourhood, to a series of forts and coconut stalls, followed by the main covered market and up the Lacerda Elevator, into a church literally covered in gold, and on to a restaurant where I had a whirlwind tour of Bahian cuisine, through the Michael Jackson square,  cocoa nibs ice cream, then home. We said "mum would love it here" at multiple points throughout the trip, for what it's worth. And bits reminded me of Antibes! Particularly the forts.

Tomorrow we're off bright and early across the bay, then down the coast by bus to another remote island, then back again on Saturday to get the flight home. Hopefully speak at some point before then! 

Ciao for now,

Ilha dos Freds

PS: have eaten lots of amusingly-named dishes so far ("acarajé", "vatapá", etc) but I have my eyes on something called "frango atropelado", literally "chicken that's been run over [by a van]"...

26.10.21 - Mais ignorado do que a última fatia de pão

Hallooooo,

Hope all good witchu. Over here we've been holding down the fort, putting up more fences to keep the demon cat in (which obviously still need work, as I had to rescue her up on the roof yesterday), learning pool maintenance, warding off  insect swarms and poisoning warrens, exploring Indaiatuba in between rainstorms, and prepping for travels to come. 

Elsewhere I've made another mixtape, and my phrase of the day - which translates to "more overlooked than the last slice of bread" - means, well, overlooked. Apparently enough people skip the last, and perhaps even the first, slice(s) of bread in the bag for this to be an acceptable phrase, which is a sorry state of affairs indeed. 

That will be all - speak soon!

Fred Card Offence

19.10.21 - Falar groselha

Halloooo,

Hope all well, and looking forward to heading over next month! Over here we've been keeping busy with work, cats, gardening, pool-filtering, trip-planning, books-balancing, course-running and general life admin. 

On Saturday we went to São Paulo for a whirlwind tour, during which we met up with multiple family members, handed out gifts, ate platters of sausage and whisked Zila back to ours for a birthday lunch the next day. I also got fully vaxxed, have jabs will travel, etc.

I've made a new mixtape, and my phrase of the day means to "speak gooseberry", or ramble on about nothing in particular. I like it, and intend to use it more often in conversation...

Speak soon!

Would Have Got Away With It If It Weren't For Those Fred-ling Kids

13.10.21 - Uai

Halloooo,

A rather late update this week as we're just back from a long weekend in Minas Gerais, the next state over, visiting long-lost cousins. It was a lot of fun - torrential rain basically every day we were there, but we made up for it with endless board games and an extremely aggressive approach to offering food, which I'm told is par for the course there (I was basically never not eating). Plenty of material for my humourous Instagram account.

Rain aside, it was hard to coordinate so many people, and the one journey we made into Belo Horizonte ended in ignominy as we accidentally left Patricia at a covered market, then went to see a big lake in the dark but had to pull the plug when we nearly got hit by lightning and I was almost apprehended by a police sting operation (long story, which we will no doubt chuckle about in the years to come).

BUT, yesterday we packed up and set off early and managed to visit the historic, extremely hilly city of Ouro Preto, via some wild foggy scenery straight out of Middle Earth. No rain, a lovely meal and plenty of photos later we got in the car and drove through the night (turns out Minas is absolutely massive), getting home to some very anxious cats around 4am.

In other news, I have booked to come to the UK on November 24th and fly back from Nice on December 5th, which will hopefully be enough time to see everyone. Gaby has decided not to travel this time, because of work issues and also a fear of being turned away as a Brazilian with no pressing need to be in the UK... but we're working on it so we can both come over for longer next summer. Looking forward to seeing you soon!

Oh and I've made a new compilation, and my phrase of the day is a fairly meaningless interjection they say a lot in Minas, and is (probably apocryphally) attributed to the English coming over to build trains, mine for gold etc and asking everyone "Why?" a lot.

Ciao for now,

Ouro Fred-o

05.10.21 - Preço de banana

Halloooo,

Hope all well witchu. Not much to report here - it's finally rained, which is most welcome as we planted a bunch of trees and herbs and seeds this week, and we had an extremely lazy weekend cooking gourmet burgers and corralling the cats. Later on we hit the road for a long weekend in Minas Gerais, which I'm led to believe will involve non-stop eating.

I've made another mixtape, and my phrase of the week ("the price of a banana") is an expression for a bargain, i.e. "I bought this car at banana prices". Bananas themselves have ironically gone up in price along with just about everything else in the country, but that's neither here nor there.

Speak soon!

You Fredder You Fred

28.09.21 - Pegar o bonde andando e querer sentar na janelinha

Halloooo,

Hope all well in Europe and petrol-starved UK! 

We have had a productive week, taking a day trip to the Dutch settlement and renowned flower capital of Holambra on Saturday to stock up on plants and seeds for the garden - which we've nicely asked our local gardener to plant properly for us tomorrow - and take lots of photos for the 'Gram, followed by a day of complete R&R on Sunday. 

We've been plotting our trip across the Atlantic too - we're yet to fully commit due to concerns over shifting restrictions and Gaby's status as a Brazilian pariah, but I personally don't think that's going to change any time soon, so we might as well take the plunge sooner rather than later. But we will keep you updated!

Elsewhere there's a new compilation in town, and my phrase of the day ("catching the streetcar mid-route and wanting to sit by the window") is a bit of a mouthful, and refers to people who turn up in the middle of a project and want to claim all the credit (or possibly people who turn up mid-conversation with no frame of reference, I'm not 100% sure). 

Speak soon!

Game, Fred & Match

21.09.21 - Mente vazia, oficina do diabo

Halloooo,

You join me from an absolutely sweltering Indaiatuba, where we're barricaded in our respective air-conditioned rooms to ward off the heat, and are still cat-proofing our house, as Berry continues to find new and inventive ways to run off into the street like some kind of dead-eyed, feline T1000.

At the weekend we went to São Paulo to sample the finer things of the big city and check in with a bunch of people, including Taynah, Rafa and their soon-to-be-born infant, then had an all-day barbeque on Sunday including my debut playing The Game of Life, in which I finished last. It was at this point that one of my silly videos went viral on TikTok. I've no idea why, or how it works, and found the whole experience deeply unsettling. Who would've thought, eh!

In other news I've made a new mixtape, and my phrase of the week means "an empty mind is the devil's workshop", and is roughly equivalent to "the devil makes work for idle hands". 

That's all for the noo, hope you're all well, and speak soon!

"Take the Fred pill... you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes"

14.09.21 - Wij van WC-eend adviseren WC-eend

Halloooo,

Hope all well with you! It's bloody scorching over here, good thing we got our garden into shape and the pool plumbed in before the heatwave hit (I say "heatwave", it'll probably be like this 'til March now). 

We had our anniversary lunch scuppered by Berry tunneling under the fence and disappearing for about four hours, but made up for it with a trip to O Caipirão (purveyors of Indaiatuba's finest beef parmigiana) on Friday instead - the fence has since been shored up and the cat restored to her rightful place. And at the weekend we had Gaby's long-time friends over for a two-day barbeque which was tremendous fun, and with enough leftovers to do it all again in São Paulo next weekend!

Elsewhere I've made another compilation, and my phrase of the week is from the Netherlands for a change. It means "we at Toilet-Duck recommend Toilet-Duck", it comes from a 1989 advert for a cleaning product called Toilet-Duck, and it's since become shorthand for anyone promoting their own interests under the guise of impartial advice or research (in the Netherlands, anyway) i.e. "It seems all political parties have their own news broadcast these days, but it's mostly "we of toilet-duck"

Ciao for now!

Fred End Street

07.09.21 - Passar a perna

Halloooo,

All good with you?  Over here we've basically skipped spring and gone straight into summer; luckily we had the foresight to set up a giant paddling pool in the garden just in time. 

We've also pulled off the impossible and contained Berry to the back garden - after the tradesmen of Indaiatuba tried to "passar a perna" ("pass the leg", or "pull a fast one") with their quote, we took matters into our own hands and crafted two fences, one for each side of the house, which are still standing at the time of writing.

We had Susy, Eduardo and the extended family over on Sunday to mark the occasion, which turned into an all-day barbeque with babies, giant dogs and grandparents in attendance - very fun but I took full advantage of an empty house the next day (with Gaby off in São Paulo) to do as little as possible. And today it's a public holiday so the plan is to do some life admin, have a nice anniversary lunch, then back to work tomorrow.

Elsewhere we've still got a lame bird on our hands that we don't really know what to do with; and I've made another mixtape for your listening pleasure. I think that just about covers it.

Speak soon!

Fred the Needle

31.08.21 - Barato que sai caro

Halloooo,

Hope all is going swimmingly! It rained here over the weekend, and now everything is a lot prettier and less dusty and not as on fire all the time, so that was much appreciated.

We are inching closer to a fully liveable house here, having splashed out on some wooden pallets for an outdoor table, and PVC netting to make a fence - remains to be seen if it will be "barato que sai caro" ("cheap that turns out to be expensive"), but we got an outrageous quote from the local fence man so we've decided to do it our bloody selves.

We are also currently hosting a bird who flew into our glass doors and needs some time to chill out in the indoor garden - providing endless entertainment for the cats at the same time. And I've made another mixtape. And that will be all!

Speak soon,

If I Was Your Girlfred

24.08.21 - Subir nas tamancas

Hallooooo,

Hope you've been keeping well and the heatwave is holding off, 'cos it ain't here! 

We've been herding cats and getting to grips with our garden, in between work and other life admin stuff. On Friday we went in to São Paulo for Andreia's birthday drinks, stayed overnight at Bruna's bachelor pad and had an urban barbeque with the whole gang the next day, which was rather fun.

Elsewhere I've made a new mixtape, and my phrase of the day means "to climb up on one's clogs", or lose one's temper and start shouting indiscriminately. And that's the waaaay the news goes. 

Speak soon!

Fred-ding Water

17.08.21 - Todo dia é um 7x1 diferente

Hallooooo,

Hope well with you and you're keeping cool by the pool. All good here, we went to São Paulo on Saturday so Gabi could get a second pint of Pfizer (mine's not due 'til October) and a rather severe-sounding face peel from her face guy, then took Sunday off completely to lounge about under our tree. 

We've also signed up to our nearest gym and have been to a few spin classes, among other things (not easy with a mask on, but their reign of terror is surely near an end), and the cats are hatching increasingly bold escape plans, so I've had to climb a few trees to get them back.

Elsewhere I've made a new compilation, and my phrase of the day is often uttered over here when it all gets a bit too much: "every day is a different 7-1", a reference to Brazil's traumatic defeat against Germany in the 2014 World Cup.

Speak soon!

Fred, Amber, Green

10.08.21 - Quem não chora não mama

Hallooooo,

Hope all well and everyone is well rested, drinking lots of water, etc. 

Over here we've had a very productive week, and have covered at least some of our junkyard of a back garden with readymade grass and flowers, making it a bit more presentable. We now have plans to put up all sorts of poles and hammocks to distract from the debris either side of it, as well as some fences to keep the cats in, so watch this space!

I've made another compilation, and my phrase of the day translates as "he who doesn't cry, doesn't get breastfed" - meaning you have to stomp your feet and make a scene to get what you want. I often think of it when we have to shut the cats inside to get on with our lives, and they start clamouring to be let out again. 

Speak soon!

Olympic Gold Fred-al

03.08.21 - Bom de garfo

Halloooo,

Hope all well! 

We had a few people over this weekend for fondue and drinks, followed by a trip into town for bottomless parmegiana, which made for a successful weekend all round, and now Gabi has the week off so we're going to do some serious life admin.

Elsewhere, I've made another mixtape, and my phrase of the week ("sou bom de garfo") means "I'm good with a fork", which is a rather amusing euphemism for eating a lot.

Speak soon!

Fredible

27.07.21 - Da minha vida cuido eu

Halloooo,

Glad to hear you made it back home after an eventful UK tour. We went to São Paulo at the weekend to visit Fernando's wee bairn, flex our 2-for-1 booklet credentials at one of the city's fine dining establishments, and pick up Zila for another week in the country (she's been put to work washing and sewing!). 

We also had Patricia & Bill round for a particularly scrumptious BBQ on Saturday, and have been bracing against historic drought and cold in quick succession (again, "historic" by Brazilian standards, but still pretty unwelcome). I've made another mixtape, and my phrase of the week literally translates as "I take care of my life", and is roughly equivalent to "I'll be the judge of that".

Speak soon!

Fredpool

20.07.21 - Falar é prata, mas calar é ouro

Helloooo, and a warm welcome to all new members of the Gringolândia SP mail-out ! You are receiving this because the blog compiling all these emails isn't getting any traffic; please reply "UNSUBSCRIBE" to unsubscribe.

Not much to report here this week - it's dreadfully chilly for Brazil at the moment, and our house is very much built for heat, so we're piling on the duvets and waiting for our torment to end, probably by the end of the day. There's plenty to be getting on with, and I've been summoned for jab #1, so will be doing that at some point this week, fingers crossed.

Elsewhere I've made another one of my weekly compilations, and my phrase of the day ("Falar é prata, mas calar é ouro") is a Brazilian riff on "silence is golden": "to speak is silver, but to shut up is gold". 

Hope all is well in the Land of the Free (as of yesterday), and speak/Zoom soon!

You've Got a Fred in Me

13.07.21 - Chegou a hora da onça beber água

Hallooooo,

Hope all is well, and that your Home Nations tour is going to plan - say hi to everyone from me! Over here we're working away on multiple fronts, including a website overhaul for a Sherlock acquaintance which is taking a lot more man hours than expected. On Saturday we went to São Paulo for the day to take care of assorted business, and say hi to Fernando in his new flat before he becomes a dad later this week. 

Then on Sunday we barbecued, before the inevitable penalty-shootout-fuelled ennui set in; Brazil and England losing two finals over consecutive evenings is some going! The one silver lining is that I won the Sherlock Comms office guess-the-results Copa America tournament, despite not watching any of the games and guessing/inputting all the results in about 5 minutes.

Elsewhere I've made another mixtape, and my phrase of the day was overheard in the crucial final stages of the Copa America, when one of the commentators on TV remarked that "it's time for the leopard to drink water". In leopard-free English, I believe the sport-themed equivalent is "squeaky bum time".

And on that note,

Speak soon!

... And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Fred

06.07.21 - Chorar as pitangas

Halloooo,

Hope all well by the Med. We've been hosting multiple people this past week while juggling multiple work and social media commitments, which all got a bit much in terms of maintenance and general bonhomie but was great fun at the time. 

On Sunday we went to Holambra, a Dutch settlement and the flower capital of São Paulo state, for a weekend jolly. We'd gone before but it was off-season, and this time around it was much livelier, plus we'd booked a tour that took us to some of the actual flower farms, allowing for plenty of photo ops in sunflower fields and under clog trees. Would recommend!

Otherwise it's been pretty full-on as mentioned, but we've been taking time out to experiment with brunches and gardening, among other things. I've made a new compilation, and my phrase of the day means "to cry pitangas" (a kind of local red fruit), or basically cry until your eyes are red - often used disparagingly/ironically of people who complain a lot.

Ciao for now!

Fred-Eyed and Blue

29.06.21 - Encher a cara

Hallooooo,

Hope all well - I greatly enjoyed the Fete de la Musique footage, and we'll have to get a satellite link-up going at some point for more a capella frivolity. 

Over here we've been papering walls, drilling holes, welding hosepipes, winning PR awards over Zoom, flapping at barbecues, creating Instagram reels, herding cats, shaking cocktail shakers, confirming side-hustle translation gigs and gorging on football.

Adny and Ridaut moved house on Thursday so we had them and Zila over for the night, and Zila has since stayed on to help with weeding and other odd jobs, which is much appreciated. We also had Andreia and Bruno over on Sunday because now everyone wants to move to Indaiatuba, and who can blame them?

Et maintenant... les anglais! My phrase of the day is "encher a cara", or "to fill one's face", i.e. get absolutely bungalowed. And my mix of the day is right here. 

Speak soon!

Minor Fred 

22.06.21 - De boa na lagoa

Hallloooo,

Hope all well witchu, and your Fete de la Musique gig went well - send footage! Over here we have dealt with most of the more pressing issues and are slowly getting the hang of country life, a failed and humiliating attempt at putting up shelves notwithstanding. 

On Saturday we went to see Adny & Ridaut's new gaff in Indaiatuba before wandering around the park and the ice cream & açaí neighbourhood, and on Sunday we took the BBQ out for a test drive, which was a total success after a nervy first few minutes flapping pieces of cardboard at a dying flame. We've also let the cats outside a few times, which means they now spend every other waking hour of the day clamouring to be let out again.

Elsewhere I've made a new comp, and the cat is out of the bag - I've started a new Instagram account for my Brazilian fans, documenting life here as a gringo. So far my research has been a goldmine for new and amusing Brazilian phrases, such as "de boa na lagoa" - i.e. "all good on a lake", which is just as chilled and easy-going as it sounds.

Speak soon!

Things To Do in Denver When You're Fred

15.06.21 - Presente grego

Halloooo,

What's occurring Hermann Goering? We've been busy getting our literal house in order - no sooner had we got everything in its right place when the painters arrived first thing on Saturday, and we had to cart everything out on to the back porch (ourselves included) and lock up the cats while they went about their business. Pausing only for a homemade fondue (cheese and chocolate!) for Brazilian Valentine's Day.

We also went to our local restaurant, which is on a farm by a lake and only opens to the public for Sunday lunch, as a kind of all-you-can-eat free-for-all. Which was pretty great, especially the pineapples dangling above the open barbecue pit. I just wish I'd known what the format was before I arrived, so I could have prepared myself psychologically, expand my stomach, etc.

Elsewhere I've been gorging on live football whenever I can, with both the Euros and the Copa America getting underway; I've made another mixtape; and my phrase of the day ("presente grego" or "Greek gift") is a present which is given with ulterior motives, or ends up having an adverse effect on the recipient - like the giant horse the Greeks gifted to the Trojans.

And that's aboot it. Speak soon!

Al Fred-o

08.06.21 - O que o cu tem a ver com as calças?

Halloooo,

Hope all well witchu! We've spent a whole week moving into our five three-bedroom bastard house in Indaiatuba, and while we are still waist-deep in boxes, it's starting to take shape and we're very happy, excited and suddenly stress-free. 

On Tuesday we drove up to let some men in overalls install our internet, then back to São Paulo to oversee a small army of movers over a four-day period (taking advantage of the national holiday on Thursday to head back to the house and give it a thorough scrubbing). 

Having spent Friday night in furniture-less, fridge-less limbo, everything arrived by lorry on Saturday morning, and we've been unpacking and breaking down cardboard boxes ever since, with a valuable assist from Gabi's uncle on power tools and plumbing.

On Sunday evening we drove into town and stocked up on supplies, so the plan for this week is to knuckle down, put everything in its right place, figure out how waste disposal works, juggle our work commitments, launch an Instagram account, learn to garden, and if there's any spare time, make plans for a tea room in town. 

I've made a new compilation, and my phrase of the day is a particular favourite of mine - when someone compares two seemingly unrelated things with no further explanation, the standard response is "O que o cu tem a ver com as calças?", or "What does the arse have to do with the trousers?" Finally, if you have a spare half hour, I recommend this muso-ey video about "The Girl From Ipanema", which has been stuck in my head all week.

Will send pics soon! Ciao for now,

FRED Talk