29.08.17 - Espada de dois gumes

Allo allo,

Hope all good in that there France.  The quirks of working for a company unmoored in time and space dictate that yesterday was a bank holiday, so I went into town with Gaby in the morning and hung out in a hip café while she got the lowdown on how exactly to finish up this masters of hers, from someone "in the know".

At the weekend we went to the Festa da Nossa Senhora da Achiropita, a neighbourhood-wide, month-long festival of Italian food in the centre of town which was absolutely packed to the gills on Saturday night, gorging on fogazza and spag bol 'til we could gorge no more.   Props to the plastered announcer making fun of Corinthians over the tannoy as they unexpectedly lost to Atletico Goianiense, and whoever it was who decided to sing "Mamma Mia" in Italian karaoke.

Then on Sunday we went to Pedreira, a city near Campinas seemingly built entirely on arts and crafts, to buy a load of unvarnished wood and marvel at the truly odd, kitsch miniature statuettes on sale (Yoda, giant owls, that kind of thing).   Good fun until the inevitable traffic jam from hell on the way back, but we managed to extricate ourselves in time for ice cream and Game of Thrones.

I have made a rather raucous mix-tape to try out on your new boom box, and this week's phrase means "double-edged sword", with all the symbolism of the English equivalent.  And on that note...

Speak soon,

Right Said Fred (this is a current reference!)

22.08.17 - Quem sai na chuva é pra se molhar

Good morning,

Hope all well on the Med.   There seems no end to this perpetual cold, and we've all come down with bastard colds, but otherwise can't complain.  On Saturday we went to Andreia's flat for a crêpe party, followed by a strogonoff shindig at home the next day, so all is right with the world.

My Cantona-esque phrase of the day means "he who goes out in the rain will get wet", i.e. if you're going to go out on a limb for something, do it properly and don't get cold feet.  Or else you won't have a leg to stand on!  I have reeled off two more compilations, and here's another one someone made to soundtrack the eclipse - probably a bit late now, but maybe it'll come in handy for the next one.

And in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night.

Frederal Bureau of Investigation

15.08.17 - Gori hala

What ho,

All good over here, notwithstanding impending nuclear war etc.  We finally got the electricity sorted at the football pitch on Thursday, and celebrated by staggering about for two hours breathing heavily, followed by grilled meat and much rejoicing.  On Saturday we headed out for a night on the town, with live music and all, and Sunday was Father's Day, mostly spent eating homemade gnocchi and napping profusely.

In the meantime I've made not one but two compilations, and have thrown in a third, bonus playlist, brought to you by the Looming Spectre of Fiery Annihilation™.  Today's phrase comes from Bosnia and translates as "the bathroom is on fire", which seems to sum things up pretty well at the moment.

Speak soon, 

Fred Rain

08.08.17 - Enfiar o pé na jaca

Greetings! Hope all good with you. 

Round our way, Ridaut's Corinthians-mad friend Doug was in town over the weekend, and the three of us went to the Itaquerão on Saturday night for the potentially tricky tie against Sport Recife, sixth in the league and managed by the excellently-named former head coach of Brazil, Vanderlei Luxemburgo. It was a walkover by Corinthians in the end - three easy goals with nowt but a scant consolation strike in reply - but the atmosphere was excellent, the seats were more or less pitchside and fun was had by all.

The next day we had the extended family round for a BBQ, sampling a selection of grilled meats (and pineapples), and yesterday we went to the talking pictures house to watch "Dunkirk" in FULL IMAX, before Doug headed back to the States in the evening. Whilst foraging for meat at the supermarket earlier in the week I was amused to note that one of the big manufacturers over here is called "Cowpig", presumably to illustrate the variety of produce and not the ungodly genetic splicing thereof.

Otherwise it's been business as usual, which means it's time for a new compilation and a saying of the week ("to stick one's foot in the jackfruit") which means to overstep ones limits, usually on a night out and with shameful consequences the morning after. Apparently the saying comes from when mule drivers would get drunk and put their foot through the "jaca" baskets they were supposed to be transporting, but nowadays it's associated with the tropical fruit of the same name. So now you know.

BONUS BLOG CONTENT: a picture of me with the cat.

Speak soon,

Freddy Player One

01.08.17 - Saçi-pererê

Halloooo,

Not a lot to report here, as we reacclimatize to the weekly drudgery of no longer being on a pan-Mediterranean tour... 

On Thursday, with the football pitch lighting no closer to being fixed by its parent school, Ridaut and I went to a new open mic which is like the Garrafas one but with a beefier backing band, so I picked up the electric guitar for a change and led my colleagues on a merry jam through Superstition and Jumping Jack Flash before beating a hasty retreat home. Which was fun (and broadcast live on Facebook, apparently).

On Sunday we went to the Horto Florestal en famille, then back for a swim, to work up an appetite for pancakes ladled out by yours truly and stuffed full of delicious fillings by Gaby.  It was during this walk in the park that I was given a potted history of the nefarious characters of Brazilian folklore, which I will attempt to relay below for your edification:

• Saçi Pererê: a one-legged, pipe-smoking trickster who lives in bamboo trees and generally causes havoc in rural dwellings. Used a scapegoat for a wide variety of mishaps, and also lends his name to a home remedy - two parts cachaça and one part honey - used to treat common colds...

• Curupira: another mischievous sprite whose backward-facing feet create misleading tracks in the jungle, leading travellers to their DOOM.   The Caipora is another variant, but he tends to be more of a protector figure, and only goes after poachers and hunters who don't respect the rules of the jungle. Also partial to cigars.

• Bicho-papão / cuca: species of boogeymen used to scare Brazilian children straight in lullabies and bedtime stories, on pain of kidnapping.  The boi da cara preta ("black-faced bull") is another potential threat, celebrated in song and in traditional Northeastern bumba-meu-boi festivals, featuring pantomime costumes and general revelry...

• Yara / lara: beautiful mermaid that perches on top of water lilies in the middle of the river and lures men to a watery grave, siren-style.

• Boto-cor-de-rosa: a species of river dolphin in the Amazon, the boto is rumoured to assume the form of a dashing bachelor at night, and go around town impregnating the womenfolk. Although they are often blamed for pregnancies out of wedlock, the real-life botos don't take it personally and have been known to help fishermen and travellers in distress on the river...

• Mula sem cabeça: just the ghost of a women who slept with a priest and is therefore condemned to live out her days as a braying mule with a ball of flames for a head. Nothing to see here!

I'm sure there are plenty of colourful characters I'm missing out, but the ones above were a lot to take in all at once... And that's about it - all over bar the compilations.

Speak soon,

Fred Bull