04.07.15 - London (Slight Return)

Halloo!

I've booked my flights back to the UK - I get in to Heathrow on the afternoon of the 8th July, and will probably stay in London overnight (assuming I can crash somewhere) as my meeting's on the morning of the 9th. I'm trying to wrangle a review while I'm there, so depending on that I'll be heading to Cambridge on the afternoon or evening of the 9th, if that suits? Then my flight back is from Heathrow on the evening of the 14th...

Anything you want me to bring from Brazil? See you soon!

Ford

30.06.15 - Segure o Tchan

Hello again from S-to-da-Pizzle, and hope all well in foggy England.   

Time marches on, to quote Metallica - no advance on my residency papers, or indeed the apartment (the landlord has asked to see Gaby's entire documented history, one component of which has been crucially held up by a Worker's Union strike or something...), but we've made some headway into furnishing it anyway, and bought my first car, which should be cool once it actually arrives and I learn how to drive it.

Meanwhile I've caved and bought several tiny boxes of Earl Grey teabags (the largest denomination they have at the supermarket - will have to stuff my suitcases with the stuff in London), and made the first of many Fred-Pizzas to restore some semblance of normality. Also had a wander round the neighbourhood on Friday and stopped off at a local chocolaterie for caipirinha truffles, which I could totally get used to.

The cat is settling in, eating incessantly and now has a scratching post and vial of catnip to go with her bit of string and moth-eaten fake mouse. I've made some headway on my list of potential names for Cat #2 - see attached (quite in-jokey, I'm afraid; your additions and suggestions are welcome though!). 

On Sunday Nivea decided to stage a huge free concert at the airfield down the road from the flat, so we wandered along to see two apparently well-known pop minstrels and their crack backing band pay tribute to the music of Tim Maia, famous dead Brazilian funk/soul impresario extraordinaire. It was pretty great - they played the only two songs I knew first and went on for another two hours, but there was a lot of good stuff to go around, plus balloons, fireworks and free hats. And thanks to the wonders of technology the whole thing is online here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVCl_j3YLHQ

I also learnt a new proverb, which I suppose could double as Fred's Portuguese Phrase of the Week: "Pau que nasce torta nunca se endereita". It's the equivalent to "A leopard can't change its spots", only a lot more grim and fatalistic, translating as "A tree born crooked will never straighten". First encountered in this compellingly terrible song from the '90s, which seems to be less about social immobility and more about hanging on to your "Tchan": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVN-q9Wj638

Speaking of which, I have hand-crafted another compilation for your listening pleasure (https://play.spotify.com/user/freddypowys/playlist/3N5vqHFSJUuVTpo3LmFQzl) and am working on a separate, all-Brazilian one for next week. No news on my mooted return to London, or indeed any news from work at all for some time, but will let you know of any developments.  Speak soon!

Ciao for now,

Frodders

23.06.15 - Tapas e beijos

Well hellooo, 

Hope all well wit' yoo; everything's good down in Saz-Paz, mind-numbing bureaucracy notwithstanding. 

Still awaiting my visa papers, but we've found a way (the infamous "jeitinho brasileiro" / Brazilian craftiness at work) and are slowly but surely stocking up on stuff for the new flat. I have spent five good hours over the last three days trying to buy a bed by increasingly elaborate financial means, and even then it won't arrive 'til Saturday after next, so we're aiming to move in properly then, maybe doing a bit of painting and decorating in the meantime. 

The landlord and his mum are apparently quite well-known soap opera writers, so maybe we can pitch our program ideas ("Monkey Tennis", etc) to them and hit it big on Globo TV, the all-encompassing Sky equivalent over here. Or maybe it's all just produced by infinite chimpanzees chained to typewriters these days, who knows.

We have also adopted a cat (pic attached), called Diva - I don't like the name but apparently I get to name the next one, no questions asked - my front-runners so far are "Cat 2", "Balthazar", "Nicolas Cage" or all three. Having settled down from a traumatic car ride back from near the airport, where she was found abandoned on the street, and a tentative first few days, she pretty much runs the place now, and I've had to step up my string-dangling game to keep her entertained.

Otherwise I've accompanied Gaby to her first session back at the psych ward (although her patient couldn't know about me, so I had to pretend to be waiting for a separate appointment in the lounge), visited a very posh bar with cocktails in bronze goblets, and met up with some of her newlywed friends to discuss Brazilian pop phenomenon MC Pikachu and the correlation between matrimony and the rising price of toilet paper. 

No news on my imminent return to Europe but I'll keep you posted. Speaking of which, thanks for the scanned post! And speak tomorrow.

Lurve,

Fred

16.06.15 - Este é minha geleia

Word up from S-to-the-P,

Hope you're all well despite the sub-zero temperatures and lack of curtains. 

Househunting is all systems go again, after our original landlady-to-be faffed around too long with contracts etc. and we ended up finding a much nicer place down the road yesterday - if all goes well we can move in next week (and wander the bare halls, whimpering softly as we wait for our furniture to arrive, presumably). Will give you a full briefing/Skype tour if and when the broker goes through, but suffice to say it's rather nice. Having crunched the numbers we've decided to hold off on buying for a year or so, so we can do things like go to Alabama in October instead.

We ventured into the gaping maw of the Policia Federal building on Friday to drop off my visa application paperwork, although we forgot to ask when or how to get it back, so watch this space I suppose. Having made two trips to the centre of town to have my UK police certificate translated by a sworn linguist of the realm, they didn't even bother looking at it and instead had me write by hand on a piece of paper that I'm not a criminal, honest.

Friday was Brazilian Valentine's Day, but having just got the UK leg out of the way, we just had the extended family round for takeaway pizza, which was a relief. Then on Saturday we went to Gaby's aunt and uncle's for a traditional slap-up BBQ, where I ate nothing but grilled meat for about six hours, made everyone caipirinhas, sung "Kiss" and promptly fell asleep in an armchair, before heading for home around 6am. Spectacular stuff. Sunday was a bit of a blur, but we roused ourselves to visit the infamous Bar do Luiz for more meat-based snacks, before heading back again to flop.

What else? I've joined the gym, and am about to go for a swim ("Garth, that was a haiku..."); discovered an awesome, enormous café down the road where you're issued with an electronic card at the turnstile, go nuts eating anything and everything in sight, then pay and receive complimentary gym vouchers on the way out; and have been watching the Copa America, which has been pretty drab so far (Brazil have mercilessly replaced their entire World Cup team, including a new Fred).

The breaking news is that I'm going to have to fly back to London at some point in the very near future (possibly next week) to open a bank account for work, so I'll keep you posted on that; should be a couple of days max., but could I possibly stay at yours? Meanwhile preparations for ViennaFest 2015 continue apace; I could get you on the VIP list if you like...

No compilation this time, as I always like to leave my public wanting more; instead I merely bid you adieu, and look forward to our chinwag tomorrow.

Ciaaooooo,

Frêd

09.06.15 - Mãos de alface

Brethren! 

As promised I bring you dispatches from the Southern Hemisphere, where rain is but a distant memory and shorts are all the rage. I have been weaning myself off tea for the past three days, and feel slightly peculiar.

For the past week we've been furiously house-hunting while simultaneously trying to get me to go legit with the Man - a bureaucratic farrago culminating in a trip to Police HQ this Friday which I'm sure will be a barrel of laughs. It's a lot more streamlined than in the UK though, and if all goes well then within a week I'll be a straight-up resident of Brazil with all the perks, except the ability to vote, which no one will be doing for years anyway.

We've found a landlady who knows Gaby's parents and will hopefully rent us her flat fairly soon on much more flexible terms than most places, where the minimum tenancy period is 32 months and you actually have to prove who you are up-front, which for obvious reasons isn't that easy at the moment; the only hitch is that seemingly every property here comes unfurnished, so we're going to have to go out and buy everything from the bed up.

In the meantime we've been visiting houses that are for sale, some of which haven't even been built yet and are instead represented by a dummy furnished flat, often deep in the centre of a building site. They're all very shiny and roomy and equipped with spas, en-suite bathrooms and individual BBQ pits, but we need to do some number-crunching to see if we can actually afford one, even on my economy-busting international-PR-man salary.

In between all the mattress-shopping and the wrangling of mobile phone contracts and Gaby looking for work placements and speculating on HSBC's presence in South America, we've managed to have some fun too. We were invited by Gaby's friend to a circus performance on Saturday night, which was awesome and minimal and conducted entirely in pidgin Italian, followed by my first "temake" - a Japanese concoction of minced salmon wrapped in seaweed, which is apparently the Brazilian equivalent of a drunken, post-club kebab.

Then on Sunday we went to Gaby's grandma's house, where I was initiated into the rite of "feijoada" - essentially meat and beans with a side of greens, rice and Guarana which apparently (and intriguingly) once almost killed Peter Frampton in the '70s. Then went on to another BBQ somewhere else for good measure. I haven't unleashed my Pizza à la Fred on them yet, but it's surely only a matter of time and finding the right yeast.

In short I'm being well fed and watered, and very much taken with the Brazilian way of life so far, even if it's a bit more hectic and filled with paperwork than usual. Took in some sightseeing yesterday at the Sao Paulo Cathedral (largest in the country, fact fans); have been blooded back into Ridaut's Saturday morning football team, albeit in goal and out of harm's way for the most part (a propos of nothing, the Portuguese for "butter fingers" translates as "mãos de alface"/"lettuce hands", which I rather like); and have caught up with the latest 9pm soap opera, which the entire population apparently thinks is utter rubbish, almost to the point of not watching it every night.

Coming up next is a slew of "Festas Juninhas" - as far as I can tell, some kind of June-based party involving Morris dancing and silly hat - and the Brazilian Valentine's Day, which I've been told in no uncertain terms applies to me too. I will speak to you tomorrow, and in the meantime have made another wildly erratic mixtape for your enjoyment/bafflement: https://play.spotify.com/user/freddypowys/playlist/0AJYQND2PLpui8bWC30L5W

Até logo, Botafogo.

Love,

Fred

05.06.15 - Tape of Mix

Hello all,

It is with great joy that I am unveil my first virtual mixtape, entitled "DJ Fridge Sao Paulo Mix #1": https://play.spotify.com/user/freddypowys/playlist/6AyAyHuVadHa6dcehpQvzd

The pic is of this evening's sunset, looking rather lovely. 

Let me know if it works, and I shall endeavour to cobble together a new one every week or so. Can't have you listening to the Eagles and Radio 4 forever, after all.

Hope all well wit yoo. We are unpacked, rested and ready to househunt here. Tomorrow I play football, then watch football, then go to a circus recital, which sounds rather daunting. Then on Sunday: MEAT AND BEANS at Gaby's grandmothers'. 

Luv,

Frud